| There is no one here anymore. I look back and remember when there were up to 16 comments for post. Sigh. I miss those days. |
| |
| I'm so afraid.
I'm afraid that I have fallen in love with a girl that I will never get to see again, that I will never get to talk to, to hold, to tell her how I feel about her, to tell her jokes, to buy her things, to share all types of moments with.
I want her to be happy, first and foremost. I want her to be successful, to find God, and to enjoy life all at the same time. But I want to be by her at the same time. I want to share her joy. But more importantly, I want her to want me there too. I want her to feel those same feelings that I am feeling right now.
But that wont happen.
It wont no matter how many times I struggle and desire it, it is a dream that has passed. It was her and I abused it. I want it back.
But it wont happen.
I just want the feelings to be gone. I want to feel the closure that never truly occurred for me but that did happen for her.
And I hope that happens.
|
| |
| So, here's is an update for the past few days. Specifically the weekend. After a meeting on Saturday night I proceeded up to Jeff and Adam's room. After trading usual mindless videos, we decided to go around campus to find something to do. We went into the health center and watched Bourne Ultimatum before finally getting caught by security. After we left, we decided to go driving around. After finding nothing I suggested that we go to my place and squat the night. I was completely joking. Adam and Jeff, did not think so. We go all the way to Dayton Tennessee, go up to Bryan and meet some old friends and ending the night by spending the night at my place without any parentals there. I am trying to win the friendship of Adam right now. We did not have the best of buds award last semester and to get in the best apartment, that is one of the challenges. He seemed pleased with the whole experience so thats one more point for me and one less for Bishop. Right now, that seems to be the biggest competition but there seems to be little struggle.
Mom called me in to move a bunch of furniture later. Nothing that we are going to use later but whatever. It ticked me off at the time.
Exams are going to kill me. I gotta raise my GPA....
|
| |
| Women confuse me man.
I want the girl who will be loyal. I want the girl who will love me. I want the girl who will understand me.
I want to love her. I want to give her the world. I want to protect her. I want to prove to her that I am worth it.
I can't find her. I can't see anyone like that for some reason.
Its driving me nuts.
By the way. AD. Not obsessing about her. Just sore.
|
| |
